We all have been children and that child still lives in us! Take a look at your self and think/feel to the child in you. Which beliefs makes you, you today ? The beliefs of the past have removed us far from the child in ourselves.
Childeren are our teachers. They show us how you can just be who you are and dare to speak up without fear, shame or feeling. Take a look at a child, if he disagrees with something, he show it immediately. This also when he is for example happy, angry or sad. The child dares to express itself, we as adults not. We prefer to hold it in, out of fear, out of feeling or out of shame. What will the other think about it or what will the other think about me ? A child doesn´t bother.
Because it is often difficult for children to name it, they mirror the behavior towards the adult. Not everyone sees it this way, so i hope that i have convinced you at the end of the article that it is not our childeren but ourselves who have to change.. We need to look within ourselves and start thinking and feeling for ourselves. And bring out the child in us. We desire for a connection with our inner child. ♡
I was able to learn a lot about myself since i have our children, things i did not see at first. Because what could be easier than blaming someone or something else if you don´t feel good about or inside yourself… ? It´s the house, the employer, the relationship, the children, the colleague, a family member, one of your friend, you name it. You always find someone or something, an excuse, to blame for how you feel. Because if you change that, you´ll start to feel better. Yes it will indeed feel better but it will not last long because we have to change it in ourselves. And our little ones are happy to help with that.
Children naturally live and act from their feelings and sense. They feel when the actions and the words of adults come from the heart or from the head. Children are born with the ability to ask, to dream and to wonder. They live out of love and adults out of fear (often unconsciously). These anxiety patterns in adults arise from all the beliefs that we have been given into our lives by society and the school system. Fear has a hold on you, it makes you small and dependent. For example, take someone who always had to keep quiet when she was a child. If she didn´t, there was a fight, she was punished or wors got beaten up. As an adult, this woman does not dare to say much now because she is afraid of arguing, rejection or being hit. This is stored in her subconscious mind.
Check your own.. How often do you keep silent while you want to speak ? How often do you go left while you want to go right ? How often do you put on a mask when you just want to be yourself, the real you because you are affraid that someone won´t like you. Live your life and don´t let life live you!
It´s wonderful to see when your child imitates you. When you see yourself in something he/she does, exact the way you normally do it, so it copy / mirror it. But also the less pleasant behavior is of course copied. And that is not always great to see that back… It´s even confronting and sometimes frustrating.
Children are children. They are discovering life. That they don´t always listen is just part of the deal, being a kid. Every house has its own rules that they make within the family. If the childeren not listen, after a number of times, asked nicely, the childeren get a time-out in the bedroom. Then they get the chance to say sorry and give a kiss. If they don´t do this, they go back to the bedroom for a few more seconds. Usually this does not happen, but it sometimes happen that they´re put back in the bedroom once (or twice).
I think everyone recogniezes that it sometimes suddenly has been enough. You freak out. You start to yell that he/she should listen and do what you haved asked (already a thousand times). It´s not bad at all if it happens, but check for yourself why you freaked out. Were you tired ? Were you hungry ? Was this stored from the past, when you were a child yourself ? Did your parents always yell at you ? Look at your own and talk to your child! Say sorry and say you didn´t mean it the way you spoke (yelled) at him / her.
Every child is sensitive, has a great sense of observation, is aware (in the here and now, not in the past or in the future). But they express this in their own way. One wants to be on his own, the other gets really busy. It also depend in what situation it is at that moment and how the child got raised by the parents. We have to be carefull not to push our children too much and puch them into boxes we like them to be in, how we like them to grown up and learn a certain way. Consider there as our own and worst of all putting ourselves above the child, we are the parents, we know it better, we are the boss. NO, we are friends, we are equal, we are one.
A child is much more intelligent than we think, we have to see it as a person and feel what the child needs. Support and help him in this. Positivity does do much. When we do that, we also help ourselves. We´ll regain a connection with the child in ourselves.
Below is a poem i readed couple of years ago and wrote it down. The orginal dutch version but i have translate it. The author is anonymous.
Inherited Behavioral Patterns,
A child who lives with shame, learns to feel guilty.
A child who lives with criticism, learns to judge.
A child who lives with hate and envy, learns to be aggressive.
A child who lives under domination, learns to dominate.
A child who lives with fear, learns to fear everything.
A child who lives with encouragement, learns to have confidence.
A child who lives with compliments, learns to motivate others.
A child who lives with honesty, learns to be honest.
A child who lives with tolerance, learns to be righteous.
A child who lives with love, learns to love.
Parents are also children, children of children of children.
I´m cursious what you thought of this article and how you view at this subject. Let me know!
🖤 🖤 🖤 🖤 🖤